A Wandering Widow

There are a lot of losses that come with losing a spouse. You lose your best friend, your lover, your companion, your confidant, your ready made date, your traveling partner.

But there were other losses that I didn’t expect. Friends, good friends actually, disappeared. Although, looking back, maybe they weren’t such good friends after all. Not only did they stop calling and texting, they unfriended me on social media and blocked me with no explanation.

It is normal that after the funeral is over people become less available. Every day texts and calls became weekly, then maybe monthly. I admit it did hurt and I felt a little sorry for myself for a while. But I thought about times in my life that I haven’t necessarily been there for others after their loss. I have tried to become better at reaching out.

I found myself bonding with strangers in the early days. Especially those who had suffered a similar loss. I joined a widow’s group on Facebook and soon became an admin. I made two wonderful friends who I talked to for hours every night. To this day, we have not met in person but are making plans to do so. These two women got me through some very difficult times. Jodi and Marty, if you are reading this, those nights meant the world to me and I miss our “Night Crew.”

Even though I lost some friendships, I also gained some beautiful ones. I got to know Kevin’s friends on a different level. They truly stepped up for our family. My liaison Lynn, who I knew for years before, became a great friend. People in our community reached out even though we had lived there for just a few weeks. I have become very close to several people in my neighborhood.

I guess the saying that the only constant is change is correct. Sometimes I don’t recognize my life because of all of the changes. Its hard that my new friends have only known me as a single person. So I try to tell them about Kevin every chance I get. I think they would’ve loved him and he them.